I've made mistakes. They keep me company. Oh man, what's up with me? - i dont think i care anymore.
 
alice
alice
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001
Alice. 22. Tattooed. Pierced. Boring.

002
Animation and animanga, Body modification, cooking, gardening / Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Highschool of the Dead, Paradise Kiss, Toukyou Akazukin / Adventure Time, Chowder, Fan Boy and Chum Chum, Good Eats, The Misadventures of Flapjack, Skins, Supernatural, Weeds / John Saul, Stephen King, Poppy Z. Brite, Chuck Palahniuk

April 2013
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003

alice [userpic]
i dont think i care anymore.

I hate how we have different priorities in our lives. We have different goals and different futures. I actually want to do something with my life, I don't want to make $8/hr. I want to be able to have the things that I want in life. I want to be able to afford the things I need. I don't want to be like my family and worry about bills and groceries, whether or not we're going to have lights this month or if we're going to be fed. I don't think I'm a bad person for wanting the best in life. I don't think I should be sorry for wanting to go to college and get away from this place. I'm not sorry and I hate to say it, but I don't care what you think about that. If you can't deal with me wanting to go to school and make something out of my life, then you don't support me and I'll leave you behind just like everyone else. I don't want to be like these stupid teenagers that I've seen who think they're going to be eighteen forever, who think they'll be able to live with their parents for the rest of their lives without paying bills, who go out and get plastered every weekend, who smoke crack and weed, who just deal with what they have and don't do anything about their problems. I don't want to live here. I don't want to live with my parents. I hate drinking, its stupid. Intoxication is a waste of fucking time. Kill your fucking body all you want to. I don't care. Waste your life. Sit in a stupid hellhole for the rest of your life. Work the same low paying job for the rest of your life. Drive an ugly peice of crap that'll barely get you to work or to your stupid parties. Spend all of your money on booze, shows, and crack. You only get one fucking life, one body, and if you screw those things up, you're fucked for the rest of your life. My life has been fucked enough, I want to make the most out of my life. I want an education. I don't want to live in Lenoir. I want to go to college and have a career vs a job. I want to be able to buy my own fucking house, my own fucking car, and be able to not have to worry about if my paycheck is going to go to bills or feeding me this week. I don't want to waste my life away. I don't want to work in a grocery store for the rest of my life. Is that so bad? Am I so horrible because I actually have goals? And what makes me so bad that I don't agree with alcohol or drugs? No one has any fucking logic nowadays, I have finally figured that out. I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm better off alone.